Test of Today - Remembering
November 6, 2025
Salam.
Today has been generally better than previous days in terms of my productivity. I was able to work for several hours on my developing business and on website design, which I have to say I am aged 5 years each time I must modify or edit content. I am forever inspired and impressed by people who can code and comprehend computers like that.
If I was left to my own devices and computer skills, without the aid of the internet and my husband, I would have given up and bought a typewriter ages ago. I take pride in my boomer aesthetic and mindset until I realize how close that reality may become.
Struggling with memory, can be very scary and frustrating. Especially when others view you as intelligent, analytical, and often with vivid recall.
Any avid viewer of movies or series will tell you often be able to describe a character that was afflicted with mental condition that involved struggling with memory. From amnesia to dementia, to schizophrenia and even concussions, millions are exposed to the terminology without ever understanding the symptoms that follow these conditions.
Aside from the obvious gaps in memory or struggle to recall information, many of these conditions cause severe anxiety and depression. Aside from the physical symptoms of some of these conditions, the psychological and mental illnesses that inevitably follow are just as life threatening.
I always said that when I turned 25, I would get a genome test to determine if I was at risk for any hereditary diseases. I’m on the verge of turning 27 and I could not want that less for myself at this moment in time.
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My husband and his previous roommates gave me the nickname “facts machine” in 2020. We were stuck indoors and decided to explore the plethora of movie and series options at our fingertips. I, being the kind and gracious person I am, wanted to share the facts that I learned or knew related to what we were often watching.
For example, I had influenced a Hell’s Kitchen kick in their household and they were running through the seasons. The boys would blurt out questions about the random ingredients or about some of the guest judges, and I just happened to know the answers. It was sometimes as simple as explaining what a parsnip was.
I was given a lot more credit than the information was due.
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After getting concussed, I struggled to remember things. Things I just spoke about. Things I had just read. So, I started writing notes on my hands like I did in high school when I forgot my agenda. I left sticky notes for myself around the house and at work. Learning from my neurologist appointment that this behaviour was par for the course was hurtful to hear but also extremely validating.
I felt like I was a lesser version of myself because the same person who was once quick with a response, now had to allow herself time to “process.”
I felt small. I felt like I didn’t deserve the degrees I had anymore or the accolades I’d acquired with my friends and family.
Looking back now on this time, I feel sorry for how harsh I was on myself during this time.
I truly think that getting a concussion was a partial reality check for me too. It pushed me and my husband to want to be better versions of ourselves, for each other and our families. Being both concussed at the same time, we didn’t really have the wherewithal to tiptoe around each other or our emotions.
We took care of ourselves so that we could take care of each other, at least that’s how I see it now in hindsight. Going through what we did together, could have split us apart but I thank Allah SWT every day, that it brought us closer together and to our Deen.
It taught us a lot about ourselves and each other.
I don’t recommend getting concussions together as a relationship tool… However, I do recommend some of the lessons I learned through our healing journey’s together that I think some people can benefit from in their daily life.
I’m still very scared of the future. I know that I’m at risk for several neuro-degenerative diseases including Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s, but I am a lot more secure in myself and my relationships to know that I won’t be alone, in this life or the next.
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This date, five years ago, was the date that my husband and I decided we would commit to each other.
Our official wedding anniversary isn’t until next week - but we always wish each other ‘happy anniversary’ on both dates.
Except that we both almost forgot the date today! Thankfully for this post, I remembered and so that meant so did he.
If I hadn’t also forgotten, I may have been upset but that’s how the cookie crumbles and I’m glad for it.
Ta-ta for now and Salam, friends!